Between Boys
by StarStrewn
Summary: Pam in highschool - will she chose popular and athletic Roy Anderson or funny, sweet and frindly Jim Halpert? Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Pam Beesly stood in a shadowy corner at the loud, crowded party. As a teenager, Pam was shy and quiet and a very talented artist. She had won the art award every year since she had first arrived at high school. Art students, smart students, drama students, basically any student that was un-athletic and actually tried at school was considered a loser at St Peter's High School so Pam was naturally stunned when popular, athletic Roy Anderson asked her to the party. For as long as Pam could remember she had faded into the woodwork. Youngest in a family of 4 girls, Pam had grown up in the shadows of her confident, beautiful sisters. They were all straight A students and somehow managed to stay popular, pretty and sporty with lots of friends and a new date every weekend. Pam had a lot to live up to and unfortunately she had only managed to continue the tradition of straight A's. The truth was, Pam was actually very pretty with big green eyes, auburn curls and a curvy figure. But she suffered a low self esteem and a shy attitude, hiding herself in bulky turtleneck sweaters and jeans, letting her hair fall in her face or tied back in a ponytail.

Her mother had always smiled and said that it was all a phase; she would grow into her looks and get some confidence when she went to high school. Pam hated the way her mother said 'shy', with a little smile like it was cute. If only she knew! It was awful – clammy hands, shaking knees, trembling, croaky, voice so quiet you were asked again and again to repeat whatever you had said. Pam had memorized the process of whenever she met someone:

"What's your name, dear?"

"Pam Beesly."

"What was that?"

"_Pam Beesly_."

"Once again?"

"_PAM_ B_ees_ly."

"Fran Teasy?"

"_Pam_ BEESLY."

"Sorry?"

"_PAM BEESLY!_"

"Oh, lovely to meet you."

Now Pam stood in the corner nursing a paper cup of orange soda searching for Roy in the crowd. She gasped as someone knocked into her spilling her soda all over her shoes. She wished she hadn't come. She wasn't the partying sort of girl, if only she had stayed home and worked on her art. Pam looked awkwardly at a couple making out on the couch. She had never seen something like that close up and she felt embarrassed.

"Hey! Pam, hey!" Roy appeared by her side holding 2 beers and shouting over the music. Pam broke into a relieved smile.

"Roy, hi!" She cried.

"I got you a beer." He offered. Pam reached for the bottle then hesitated. She didn't drink. She was underage and besides, she thought people who drank too much were idiots. Already people were stumbling around the party knocking into things and slurring their words. On the other hand she wanted to impress Roy and she didn't want to seem like a baby. Pam paused, thinking.

"Ah…no thankyou, actually, I don't drink." She finally said. Roy laughed, though not exactly unkindly.

"You don't drink?" He asked, a little patronizing. Pam blushed in the darkness and stood a little straighter.

"Just say no and all that." She said quietly staring intently out the window.

"Fair enough." Roy smiled and drank about half his beer in 2 gulps, carelessly tossing the second bottle at a passing guy.

"Do you know him?" Pam asked.

"Nah. C'mon, let's dance." He said casually grabbing her hand and dragging her into the crowd. Pam awkwardly copied Roy and the other party guests feeling silly. She felt so uncomfortable. This was definitely not her crowd. She closed her eyes and tried to remember how she had gotten here.

_**2 DAYS EARLIER.**_

_Pam slammed her locker shut and tried to juggle her paint box, French book, notebook, maths folder, science textbook and the huge stack of school newspapers she was supposed to hand out. Just as she was about to drop her French and science books, a hand reached out and caught the slipping books. Pam gasped slightly and looked up, balancing her remaining items. _

"_You right?" A tall, thin boy about her age was looking at her with concern offering Pam her books. He had tousled, caramel coloured hair looking like it had never been brushed or maybe like he had just gotten out of bed. He was wearing faded blue jeans and a blue plaid flannel shirt open over a white T-shirt. His eyes were a startling shade of dark green and he was gangly, he hadn't quite grown into his body. Pam couldn't help smiling as the boy kindly handed over her books. _

"_Uh, yes, sorry. I was just…just you know. I'm not very co-ordinated." She blurted out and blushed, immediately feeling stupid._

"_Yeah, join the club. I'm Jim Halpert, I just moved here." He had a nice smile, Pam thought to herself. And a nice voice, reassuring. _

"_Oh. Well, welcome to St Peter's. You'll like it here." She smiled, trying to regain some dignity. "Well…actually, you probably won't." She confessed and was delighted when he laughed._

"_Yeah, well, I have to go to maths. I'll catch you around…Beesly?" He questioned looking at the half of her name that was peeking out from her half-shown maths book. _

"_Oh, yeah. Beesly. Um, that is, Pamela Beesly. Pam for short. Pam Beesly." She stuttered. Jim smiled again._

"_I'll see you around Beesly." He walked down the hall whistling. Pam leant against her locker and stared after him. She slapped herself once to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't. She couldn't stop a smile as she straightened her black skirt over black tights and tugged down her red turtleneck sweater before hurrying to class. _

_As Pam was rushing down the halls to French, Room 11B, she heard an unfamiliar voice call out._

"_Hey! Hey, girl in the red sweater!" She spun around and saw popular Roy Anderson striding casually towards her. She pointed to herself mouthing,_

"_Me?" _

"_Yeah, you." He caught up to her. "Can I ask you something?"_

"_I…I'm late for class." She said confused. Why was the most popular guy in school talking to her? _

"_It'll only take 5 seconds, I swear. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to a party with me on Saturday." _

"_What? I mean….what is this a joke?" Pam asked warily. _

"_Huh? No! No, I swear, this isn't a joke." Roy promised, bewildered. _

"_Oh…well…um…yes. Okay, I guess so."_

"_Great. I'll pick you up on Saturday, 8.45. What's your address?" _

"_14 Avinson Street, East Waverly. Here." She scrawled her address hastily on a scrap of paper. She had watched him wave and walk away, down the hall and around the corner, thinking she might be dreaming right now. She jumped happily releasing the pent up squeal and hurried to maths, not caring a single bit that she was very, very late. _

And now here she was, dancing in the middle of a room full of strangers. She hated it. And at the same time…she sort of loved it too.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Office. –heavy sigh-**

**Hey, so I forgot to tell you a bit about the story in the first chapter so I'm going to tell you now! I was thinking about Roy and Pam as teenagers, and I was going to just write a bit about it. I honestly wasn't going to even put Jim in but when I got to the locker scene I just sort of wrote his description without even thinking, ha ha, but I guess, what's a good story without Jim Halpert? So, anyway, please keep reading! **

Pam settled down in the front row of her 5th period History class. She tapped her pencil against the desk impatiently as her classmates ran wildly around the room like 2nd graders. It was Monday morning, after the party. Roy had gotten drunk and she ended up catching the bus home. But who was she to complain? Last week not one person talked to her and this morning she had said hello to people she had never even made eye contact with! Pam pulled out her sketchbook and began working on a willow tree. She loved drawing and painting willow trees, the way the leaves swept down and fluttered in the wind. She was just getting deep into the sketch when a shadow was cast over the page and she slammed the book shut, looking up.

"No, don't, that was great! Do you take art?" asked Jim, peering over her shoulder.

"Oh," Pam said, blushing. "Yeah, for a few years now."

"Wow. Well, that's a really good drawing." He sounded like he meant it too. She liked that about him, the way everything he said sounded so genuine and friendly.

"Thanks." She said shyly. She racked her brain frantically for something to say. Just then the bell rang and Jim smiled and raised his hand in a wave then hurried to an empty seat in the middle of the classroom. Pam sighed and shut her sketchbook.

"Way to make an impression, Beesly." She muttered to herself and settled down for history.

"Hey, Pam!"

"Pam, hi!"

"Hey Pam, I love your hair today!"

Girls and boys left and right were waving and greeting Pam, people she didn't even know the names of. She meekly waved and hurried into the cafeteria clutching her well worn black sketchbook that she carried everywhere.

"Hi Pam!" a perky, blonde cheerleader called out from a crowded table. Pam smiled but walked on to her usual table by the window. She shook her head slightly, confused at all the attention, sat down and laid out her lunch. She packed her own lunch, so there were never any surprises (like the cafeteria mystery meat…ugh.) A banana, wild berry yoghurt, Doritos, a small piece of homemade fudge and a small salad. Treats, yes. Surprises, no. Just as Pam took a careful bite of her salad about 5 giggling girls rushed over to Pam's table and sat down as though they'd been invited. All of them held cafeteria trays with no mystery meat but only a small salad and an apple.

"Pam, hey! Ohmigod! Your soooo lucky!" One girl squealed. Pam recognized her as the head cheerleader, Stacey Hill. Her blonde hair was loose over her shoulders and her makeup was perfectly applied.

"Totally!" Agreed Leslie Martins, Stacey's best friend. She applied another coat of strawberry pink lip-gloss before picking up her fork. The other girls, one slim and brunette, another tan with long, black, shiny hair straight as a stick and another blonde with bouncy curls, all nodded and let out squeals of agreement. Pam shifted slightly to make room for the girls and took a breath.

"Uh, why?" She asked shyly, confused at what had made all these girls suddenly become her friends. Pam looked around the table and saw 5 girls gaping at her. The one with straight black her, Claudine, had dropped her mascara wand in her salad from shock. Finally, the slim brown haired girl spoke up.

"Oh my _God_!" She yelped. "She doesn't know!"

"_Ohmigod_!" Every single girl but Pam screamed in unison. Pam felt like a moron, what could be so important that she didn't know?

"Paaaaam," Stacey giggled leaning over and grabbing her hand. _"Roy Anderson is going to ask you to the prom!" _At this, the girls all shrieked and burst into giggles. Pam sat in shock.

"M-me?" She gasped. "But…but the prom is ages from now!"

"Only a few weeks. Oh, you are so, so, so, so lucky! Roy is totally hot." Stacey gushed.

"Totally." The girls echoed. "So, so hot."

"Oh…well, um, excuse me." Pam stood up quickly and grabbed her lunch. "I, um, I have to talk to someone." She lied. Stacey raised one eyebrow slyly.

"Oh, I bet I can guess who." She laughed.

"Are his initials R.A?" The curly haired one, whose name Pam didn't know, Tammy or Terri or something, giggled. Pam smiled but continued to hurry out. She dumped her lunch in the bin and practically ran to the art room. Roy Anderson. ROY. ROY ANDERSON. Was going to ask her? It must have been a joke…a rumour….but then why had he asked her to the party? Pam felt a tiny flicker of hope. What if he really did ask her? How exciting! She'd be the most popular girl in school! She could see it clearly in her mind, proudly telling her sisters and mother, walking gracefully into prom with a beautiful dress, being crowned prom queen…what if it wasn't a rumour? What if all her dreams really did come true? Pam began to paint wildly. Mr Murphy, the art teacher, let students paint at lunch although Pam was the only whoever did. She painted almost all the time, especially when she felt emotional or had received big news. And boy, was this big news! Her paintbrush flew all over the large easel, using every colour of the rainbow. An earlobe like…that, an eye like….that. It wasn't long before Pam was finished and she stepped back to admire her work. What she saw shocked her. Oh, it was good, very good, she knew but it wasn't what she had expected. A boy stood in the middle of the page, painted entirely in a rainbow of colours. Green, green eyes, hair in brown, chestnut and gold. His clothes were casual and painted in bright, colours, every colour imaginable. He had a sweet, sleepy half smile. He stood in a hallway with locker; the hallway stretched far, far down and was painted in greys. But it was the boy that Pam stared at longest. The face in her mind was Roy Anderson, but on the page stood none other but Jim Halpert.

**More coming soon guys, I promise! I'm actually really into this story! Please, please review and let me know what you think, it means the world to me! **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Office. Please don't make me say it again? **

Pam stared at a girl. The girl had big green eyes and soft auburn curls and pale, snow white skin. She was looking in her mirror in her bedroom, practicing what to say if (when?) Roy asked her to prom. Every way felt stupid and fake. And besides, what if it was all a rumour? High school kids had a way of twisting words.

"The prom? Oh wow, of course I'll go with you Roy!" Pam smiled widely at herself and then watched as the smile fell.

"Grr, it all sounds so stupid!" She growled at herself and grabbed her hairbrush, yanking it through her curls. She tugged at the brush angrily, and then threw it at the mirror.

"_I hate myself!" _She cried in a rage and flung herself onto her bed. 5 minutes later she rolled onto her back and giggled at herself.

"Oh, God, I'm ridiculous." She laughed at herself until she was in hysterics. "Why am I even so upset? If it turns out Roy does ask me, I'll be so surprised I'll just react naturally." Pam often used logic on herself to calm down. She was like that.

"Hey Beesly" Jim said, sitting down at the cafeteria table.

"Oh, hey Jim." Pam smiled, proud that she had managed to get a steady sentence out. She and Jim had gotten into the habit of eating lunch together. Sometimes there were silences, but always comfortable ones, but mostly they talked and talked and talked. And laughed. A lot. In fact, it had come to the point where Pam actually looked forward to lunch, rather then her past feelings of burning shame having to sit alone. They fell into sharing Doritos and bits of each others lunches.

"Oh my God!" laughed Pam. "Jim, there is no way I can do this. What if I get caught?"

"Hey, it's a mission! You have to do it, Pam. Do you understand the importance of this?" Jim smirked, clearly enjoying this. It had turned out that Pam and Jim had a lot of classes together, not just lunch and over time they had became close friends. Somehow, Jim started it; they had begun to give each other secret missions. Stupid things, like tying a ribbon to a tree in the courtyard or turning every poster in a hallway upside down. They also had a deadline. This time, Jim had given Pam the challenge of drawing a picture of a giraffe on the courtyard in chalk.

"No! Jim, that's….that's…_vandalism_!" Pam challenged.

"Vandalism? Beesly, its _chalk!_ It'll wash off. Besides, I like giraffes. Now, go! You only have until 3 o'clock." Pam glared at him jokingly then excused herself from class. She hurried silently down the hall and out the door onto the courtyard, a bit of pink chalk clutched tightly in her hand. She was nervous but she felt full of light. She had never had a friend as good as Jim. And through it all she was still popular! Girls said hi to her and boys winked at her in the halls. Of course, the fact that Roy Anderson had asked her out on a date 2 times since the party could have helped. Pam knelt down in the middle of the concrete courtyard and glanced around. The coast was clear. She pulled her scarf closer around her neck, to protect her against the icy wind and began to sketch, quickly, expertly and nervously. Curve…dip down…across…slowly a giraffe began to take shape. She quickly coloured in bright pink spots and added hooves to the slim, knobbly legs. She added enormous, sweet eyes and a cute smile to her giraffe. Then, before anyone came she ran back to class, smiling as goofily as her giraffe all the way.

"Hey, Jim" Pam said, pausing beside her usual table where Jim sat. "I'm just going to eat with Roy today. That's okay, right?" Jim looked at her, his mouth open slightly. Then he caught himself.

"Oh! Yeah, sure. Totally."

"Cool. See ya Jim." Pam smiled and walked away. Jim watched her curls swing over her shoulder as she turned to call over her shoulder, "Oh, did you see the giraffe? Pretty good, huh?" Jim smiled sadly.

"Yeah. Nice one, Beesly." She giggled, waved and walked off. Jim stared after her, wondering where on earth the real Beesly was.

"Hey guys." Pam said, a little shyly. She was greeted by squeals from the girls who started scooting down to make room for her. She sat next to Roy who greeted her enthusiastically.

"You made it!" He said. Pam grinned.

"I made it." She echoed and couldn't stop smiling.

**2 WEEKS LATER.**

Roy walked into History, 4th period with Pam by his side. Jim smiled and moved his books to make room for Pam but she walked right past him with only a small smile to him. She followed Roy to the back where all the 'cool' kids sat. Wasn't it only a week or so ago that Pam and Jim had laughed at those very kids and the way they acted so cool and superior? Jim glanced casually over his shoulder and watched Pam laugh at something and slick on some lip-gloss Stacey Hill offered her. Maybe not. Slowly, Jim moved his books back to their original position. In the spot where Pam used to sit. The old Pam, that is.

SLAM. Someone leant against Pam's locker, slamming it shut. She spun around, shocked.

"Oh, hi!" She laughed, relieved.

"Hey." Roy smiled.

"What's up?" Pam said, zipping up her bag and swinging it over her shoulder.

"Here, let me." Roy offered.

"Oh-" Pam smiled and let him take her bag. "Thanks."

"So, I wanted to ask you something." Roy said. Pam was slightly taken back – Roy was sort of blunt. He sure had a way with words.

"Shoot."

"Actually, 2 things."

"Again, I say: shoot." They both laughed at that and Roy began again.

"The first thing is: will you go to prom with me?" He smiled widely at her and waited for her answer. Pam stared open mouthed at him. She was overjoyed, of course, what girl wouldn't be? But in the middle of the school hallway? On old French fries that had somehow made it from the cafeteria to the hallway?

"I…I…yes! Yes, of course!" Pam cried happily. So they were standing on old, grimy French fries. So what? She was going to the prom with Roy Anderson!

"Great! And the second thing…." Roy continued.

"Right, the second thing." Pam prodded him, still smiling over the prom.

"Will you, you know, go steady with you?" Pam stood completely still and stared at him.

"S-steady?" She stammered. Roy nodded.

"Um…yes! I mean, yes, I'll go steady with you. Of course. I…thanks. I mean, cool."

"Great." Roy said cheerfully.

"Great." Pam giggled. Was it possible for a girl to die of excitement? Because Pam thought she might.

**So, more to come! This chapter was sort of choppy, I thought. In case you couldn't tell, at first I was just showing examples of Jim and Pam's friendship and then how Pam changed. Gr. But please, please let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, keep reading! **


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Guess what, guys? I SOMEHOW NOW OWN THE OFFICE! YAAAAAAY! Just kidding. I don't own The Office.**

Pam wandered around the store, sorting through different coloured bikinis on a rack. Stacey Hill, Leslie Martins and Claudine Pather were shopping with Pam in search of new bathing suits for Terri McGill's pool party. Pam, of course, was going with Roy.

"Ooh, Claud, this would be fabulous on you!" said Leslie, holding up a bright blue, skimpy bikini.

"Blue?" Claudine said doubtfully, raising one carefully plucked, delicate eyebrow, rubbing the material between her fingers. "I don't know…hey, you know what? Pam, _you_ would suit blue."

"You think so?" Pam asked, taking the blue bikini.

"Yeah, for sure!" Stacey joined them. Pam shrugged and laughed, casually tossing the bikini over her arm to join the pile of 'maybes' which was already a small mountain. She tried to hide her insecure feelings. Pam could barely remember the last time she wore a bathing suit, let alone a bikini! She was shy, self conscious. She didn't wear bikinis. But she was determined – these girls knew what they were doing and she was _not_ going to lose her place on the top rungs on the social ladder. Not after years of being somewhere low on the ladder. Way, way low.

"Hey, Stace! Try this one! The red would look so, so hot with your blonde hair." Claudine gushed.

"Great! Red is so my colour, right?" Stacey bragged.

"Absolutely." Leslie said, tossing her slim braid over her shoulder.

"For sure!" Pam chimed in, hating herself for not suggesting the red one to Stacey before Claudine. She was shook out of her thoughts by Stacey tugging on her arm.

"Pam! Were going to try these on, come on. Or are you still looking?"

"No, I'm ready." Pam said quickly. She felt her heart start pounding hard and fast. Bikinis? In front of these popular, confident girls? NO her brain warned her. But she followed the girls dutifully sliding into one of the stalls.

Pam took the first bikini off it's hanger with shaking hands. Neon green? Yuck. Pam hated neon. But she slid into it quickly, praying the bottoms would slide over her thighs without snapping. They slid up easily and Pam made a mental note to write a thankyou letter to whoever invented elastic waistbands. She turned to face herself in the mirror – and yanked the bikini right off. Definitely not. She felt like a great, white whale. Pam felt tears stinging her eyes, what if none of these worked? How embarrassing!

"Calm down." Pam whispered to herself. "Try them all on – one of them has to be okay. You'll be in the water most of the time anyway – calm down. Calm down!" She ordered herself. She took 3 deep breaths and began to try on the other bathing suits. Pale blue, stripy – NO. Hot pink, bows on the strings – puh-leeze. Green, plain and simple – sure, if she wanted to look like a green bean! Red and skimpy – Absolutely not. Bikini after bikini, Pam discarded each of them into the NO pile, beginning to panic. What on earth would she do? Finally she narrowed her choice down and chose an emerald green bikini. It wasn't a string bikini, it was simple and pretty. On the top part there was a small bow in the middle. Pam studied herself from all sides. She wiped at the pools of tears in her eyes. She was pale and shivering, goose bumps rising on her flesh.

"Pam? Come out! Let us see!" Stacey called from outside. She sounded kind. Pam took a deep breath and before she could panic too much she threw open the door and shyly stepped out, barefoot and trembling. She couldn't bear to open her eyes. Squeezing them shut tightly, she managed to whimper:

"Does it look too awful?" Stacey slapped her arm lightly and giggled.

"Open your eyes you idiot!" She cried cheerfully. "You look _hot!_"

SPLASH. Someone launched a cannonball jump into the pool sending a huge spray of water everywhere. Pam laughed and tried to keep her smile steady.

"Hey." Roy appeared, smiling at her side, hair dripping all over his face. Pam couldn't help thinking how cute he looked.

"Want to get in the pool? Were going to play water volleyball." Roy looked so excited; Pam couldn't bear to say no.

"Sure!" She agreed easily, sliding out of her tank top and skirt quickly, figuring it would be best to reveal her bikini quickly and get it over and done with.

"Wow!" Roy's eyes widened and he looked Pam over admiringly. "You looked amazing!"

"Thanks." Pam blushed, feeling more self conscious then ever. She slid into the pool quickly and ducked under water. When she resurfaced, a boy she didn't know was offering her a beer.

"In the pool?" She asked, doubtfully, teeth chattering.

"Sure." The boy said. Pam glanced around and saw that almost every kid in the pool was holding a beer. Some were even spilling it into the pool!

"T-thankyou, but I don't d-drink." Pam said quietly, teeth still chattering from the cold pool water. The boy laughed hard and continued to shove the beer at Pam.

"Don't drink," he laughed, shaking his head. "That's a good one."

"Just take it." Roy whispered and Pam shivered, feeling his warm breath against her ear. Without thinking, she took the beer and looked at it with wide, fearful eyes. She had never even had a sip of alcohol in her life.

"C'mon. You can't say you've never _ever_ had a drink in your life." Roy looked at her expectantly. How could she say no? Everyone was doing it. And it was just one drink…Pam took a swig. She hated it; it was bitter and tasted awful.

"How do you like it?" Roy raised an eyebrow playfully. Pam took another sip and pretended she hadn't heard the question.

"So, are we going to play volleyball or not?" She asked.

Pam dangled her legs in the water, wedged between Stacey and Leslie. She was on her second beer. Well, really her first. She had dumped half of her first bottle into a potted plant when no one was watching and she had only had a few sips of this beer, so she hadn't even had a full bottle yet. Even so, she was feeling more relaxed and self confident. She laughed now, at the memory of herself in her bedroom before the party. She had spent over an hour painstakingly straightening her hair and then curling it, so that soft red waves framed her face instead of her wild curls. Now her hair was dripping wet and lying straight. Who cared?

"Hey, follow me." Roy snuck up behind Pam and whispered in her ear. She felt a shiver go down her spine. She excitedly excused herself and allowed Roy to grab her hand, following him down the side path of Terri's house, a long, narrow path of gravel between the house and fence. When they reached the end, finding their path blocked by a pile of timber, they stood together, talking about school, friends and family. Roy told Pam about a car he was repairing and she told him about her latest art sculpture, an eagle. Pam was leaning against the house, talking when she realized Roy was slowly leaning in. She began to talk faster. Closer…closer…she could see an eyelash on his cheek…closer…closer…she could see a tiny freckle by his right eye…he was going to kiss her. She could tell. She had never been kissed before, not properly. It suddenly struck Pam as very funny that Roy had asked her to go steady with him before he'd even kissed her. She felt laughter bubbling up. Just before their lips met, Pam let out a short, nervous, hysterical, high pitched giggle. And then he kissed her. It wasn't like Pam had ever imagined. She expected fireworks and romance. But all she felt was slight embarrassment that her first ever kiss was happening in the side path at Terri McGill's house. Roy tasted like beer. His hands were awkwardly placed on her waist and he slowly drew her away from the wall and closer to him. She let him until she was wrapped in his arms. And still, she felt nothing. As far as Pam was concerned, she was still waiting for her first kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I. Don't. Own. The. Office. **

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter (drama, drama, drama!) and thankyou all so, so much for the lovely reviews!**

_Beesly –_

_Your secret mission is to stick a purple bow to 5 lockers in Hallway B by 1.15pm_

_- Jim. _

Pam looked down in dismay at the note Jim passed her. She glanced at Roy who was sitting beside her, then at Jim and finally back at the note. Finally she scrawled back hastily:

_Ha-ha, very funny. Were too old for secret missions Jim! _

She hurriedly folded it and tossed it neatly to Jim. She couldn't bear to watch him open it, so she concentrated on her history work. Still, she felt, rather then saw, him spin around to face her in shock.

_A few weeks ago you were drawing giraffes on the courtyard in purple chalk, Pam!_

Pam read the note he sent her and bit her lip. Sure, a few weeks ago! But so much had happened since there. She…she got popular. She ate lunch with the cheerleaders, got a date to prom, got a boyfriend, wore a bikini, had a beer, and had her first kiss. Secret missions somehow seemed so…so _fourth grade_ now. Still, Pam felt a dull ache in her stomach. She hadn't spoken properly to Jim in weeks. She missed him. She could tell he was a bit angry, a bit impatient by the hasty, spiky letters he had written in the last note. That and he had called her Pam, not Beesly. Still, she had a reputation now. What would Stacey do if she caught Pam sticking a big, purple bow on a locker? Pam felt proud at that thought – a reputation! Wow! It gave her enough reason to write back:

_People can grow up a lot in a few weeks. May I suggest you do the same? Grow up, that is. _

_P.S It was PINK chalk, not purple._

She felt a stab of shame as she balled up the note and tossed it to Jim. He caught it without looking up and unfolded it. She had never written (or said) something so mean. Especially not to Jim. This time, she watched him read it. He had his back to her but she still saw the tips of his ears turn pink with embarrassment. He crumpled the note effortlessly and hunched over his work. When the bell went, he stood up so fast he practically knocked his chair over and walked briskly out the door without looking back. Pam sat still in her chair and put her hand in her pocket. She closed her eyes and felt tears pricking up. In her pocket, she clutched the smallest piece of pink chalk. After a moment, she stood up and walked out the door. She raised her hand over the bin to throw out the chalk but that felt too painful. Instead she tossed it in the back of her locker and slammed the door shut, leaving it in darkness.

Pam hurried to the girls' bathroom, not ready to go to her next class, French. Jim had the same French class as her, and feeling like a coward, Pam didn't think she could face him. Instead she holed up in the bathroom and stood in front of the mirrors, shakily applying lip gloss and mascara. The door swung open and Leslie walked in and joined Pam at the mirrors.

"Hey Pam." She air kissed Pam and set to work reapplying some blush and lipstick.

"Hey Leslie." Pam said tiredly.

"So, what is the deal with that Halpert guy? Jim? He is so weird. Did you see him in History?" Leslie laughed. "I mean, wow, take a chill pill right! Did you see his face? He looked like a hurt puppy or something. What do you think made him so…so…?" Leslie searched for the right word.

"Heart broken?" Pam said softly, feeling her own heart break a little at the thought of hurt Jim. Her note hadn't been _that_ bad had it?

"Heart broken! Totally!" crowed Leslie happily. "Man, he is _such_ a freak. I think he was in on that giraffe on the courtyard thing. By the way, how _lame_ was that thing? I mean, _grow up_ kiddies, we are in _high_ school! Right? Do you know who did it?"

"I – uh, no. I mean, yeah, that thing was so lame. Not in 2nd grade anymore, people!" Pam lied.

"I know right!" Leslie giggled and started to walk out. "Coming to French?"

"Nah, I'm…I'm skipping." Pam said, hoping she sounded casual. Leslie laughed joyously, as if Pam had passed a test.

"Sweet!" She cried, and left.

"Sweet." Pam echoed, sighing, leaning her forehead against the cold mirror. She felt very tired. Being popular sure was hard.

Jim felt someone brush against him in French. It was that Leslie girl, the cheerleader who was friends with Pam. She was late for class and ended up having to sit next to him.

"_Fur-reaak_." She hissed meanly as she sat next to him. Jim did his best to ignore her and starting copying out reflective verbs into his workbook.

"Ooh, what's the clown doing?" Leslie stage whispered to her friends, Terri and Claudine who were also in Jim's French class. They all giggled stupidly and began to guess.

"Maybe…he's writing a poem."

"A journal!"

"A _secret_ diary…ooh…"

Leslie leant over to check and rolled her eyes.

"He's doing the _work_." She whispered disgustedly. Claudine and Terri rolled their eyes too and went back to painting their nails. Just then, Pam walked in, her eyes slightly red, as though she'd been crying. Jim looked up at her and then down again quickly. Pam blushed. Despite everything, he still felt a bit of sympathy, wondering why she was crying.

"Hey." Leslie whispered as Pam sat down. "I thought you were skipping."

"I changed my mind." Pam muttered.

"Get this!" Terri giggled. "Jim the _freak_ is actually doing the French homework!" Claudine covered her mouth to muffle her giggles, as though doing work at school was absurd. Pam hesitated, glancing at Jim. Then she forced a giggle.

"What a freak." Claudine said. "Right?" All 3 girls stared expectantly at Pam, who swallowed hard. Jim kept his head down, but he kept his ears open, listening attentively.

"Yeah," she said quickly, her stomach burning in shame. "What a freak."

Jim sighed and continued working. Was French supposed to hurt this much?

Pam wandered the empty hallways during lunch. She felt like being alone. Suddenly, she saw a familiar guy in the empty hallways. She glanced around to make sure no one was watching and then called out:

"Jim! Hey Jim, wait up!" Jim turned and waited, stony faced.

"Oh. Do you think you should risk your reputation talking to a freak like me, Pam?" He asked bitterly. Pam bit her lip and looked away.

"Come on, Jim. That was just a joke." She mumbled.

"Yeah, not so funny when you're on the other side." Jim retorted. Pam flushed pink and finally looked at him. She held her hands up, innocently.

"Wow, I'm sorry okay? I thought you could handle a joke. Is this about the secret mission thing? Jim, we're in high school now, I don't have time."

"That's so not what this is about, Pam and you know it as well as I do!" Jim said his voice raising.

"Do I?" Pam finally replied, for lack of a comeback. When Jim said nothing, she punched his arm jokingly.

"C'mon, Halpert! Lighten up, okay? It was a joke." She giggled nervously. Jim stared at her solemnly.

"I better go. You never know who might walk around the corner and see you talking to a freak." He said coldly, turning and walking away. Pam stood alone, watching him walk down the hallway. She suddenly remembered the painting she had made of colourful Jim in the grey hallways. For some reason, this made her flare up with anger.

"It was just a _joke!_ You have to learn to take a joke Jim!" She yelled to his back. He didn't answer or turn around, he simply continued walking. Pam was furious – she was popular! How dare he walk away!

"FREAK!" She yelled out of spite and anger. The second the word was out of her mouth, she regretted it. Her mouth tasted awful now and her stomach was flipping. Jim still didn't turn around but he kicked a locker, hard, with his foot as he walked away. It didn't seem to help anything. What had been said had been said, and as much as Pam wished, she couldn't take those words back. All she could do was watch Jim slowly become smaller and smaller fading into the grey of the hallways.

**What did you think? New chapters coming soon, I promise. Poor Jim, right? Guys, I swear, Pam seems to be writing herself. She's a good character to explore. Anyway, please leave a review and keep reading! YOU'RE WONDERFUL! **


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Office. Are you shocked? **

**Guys, thankyou again for the lovely reviews! It keeps me writing. **

On Tuesday morning, Pam agonized over going to school. Her mother prodded her, telling her to eat more. But Pam couldn't eat, her stomach was in knots. She still couldn't believe what she'd said to Jim. She had called him a _freak_. Wasn't it only a month or so ago that people were calling _her_ a freak? She couldn't have said that…it wasn't her. It just wasn't! She had messaged, texted, called and emailed Jim about 50 times since Monday. No reply. She tried again now.

_Jim –_

_CALL ME! OK? I'm sorry about Monday. Okay? _

_- Pam _

No reply. Suddenly, a terrible thought struck Pam – what if Jim had deleted her number? What if he had caller I.D. and wouldn't pick up? How horrible! Pam sighed. Even if he had, who could blame him? Pam felt terrible.

"Mum?" She asked carefully.

"Yes?"

"I…I don't feel so well. Can I stay home today?"

"Oh, Pammy. You probably don't feel well because you haven't eaten anything this morning." Mrs Beesly said sweetly.

"No, no Mum! I really don't feel well. Please? _Please?_" Pam begged. She knew it was cowardly, but she was way too scared to see Jim today. Mrs Beesly sighed and placed her hand to Pam's forehead. Pam did her best to look weak and tired.

"Well, you're not warm. Go to school and see how you feel. If you feel sick, give me a ring." In Mother Language, Pam knew, that meant: please just go to school I don't believe you, sorry. She grabbed her bag and went out the door in a huff.

Pam got to school and was immediately greeted by her new friends and Roy. Roy grabbed her hand and they spent the first 5 minutes of school making out, making Pam forgot all about Jim. But now, sitting in Geography, Jim was all she could think about. He was seating right in front of her and it was taking all her power not to cry. He looked just like he had on the first day of school. Looking down at her blue skinny leg jeans, pink lacy top and jean jacket, Pam could only think how much she had changed.

"Class, we'll be doing projects this week, on endangered species." Mrs Clark announced, pausing to let the groans and complaints die down. "I see you all working with the same people, so this time were going to try a new method. I'll partner you all up for this project and I'll pick the names out of a hat." Next to Pam, Terri McGill frowned and raised her hand.

"Terri?" Mrs Clark said.

"You mean your going to partner us up _randomly_? Like, we can't pick our partners?"

"Exactly. You all seem to only work with your friends and I want this class to socialize and get to know more people."

"We've gone to school with them for years, I think I know them." Pam mumbled sarcastically. Jim turned around and glared at her for a second and Pam blushed. But all the kids around Pam snickered and laughed; agreeing with Pam. Mrs Clark ignored them all and began to pull names out of a baseball cap.

"Stacey Hill, Jerry Kamper." Stacey sighed dramatically and joined Jerry, a shy, gangly boy.

"Michelle Hangings, Peter Black."

"Roy Anderson…" Pam held her breath. Maybe she would get partnered with Roy, or at least one of her friends.

"…Laura Mitchell." Pam let out a sigh and slumped in her desk a little.

"Pamela Beesly, Jim Halpert." Neither of them moved. Pam sat frozen in her desk, she must have heard wrong.

"Miss Beesly? Mr Halpert? Is something wrong?" Mrs Clark asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I…I…no." Pam stuttered, gathering her books and sitting next to Jim. Mrs Clark continued calling out names but it was all a faint hum to Pam. She was working with Jim. Could the timing be any worse? Neither of them said anything, avoiding each others eyes. Jim tapped his pencil against his desk in a rhythm. Pam drummed her fingers against her books. Jim tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. Pam studied her nails as though they were fascinating. Jim cracked his knuckles. Pam twirled her hair. Mrs Clark walked by and dropped a slip of paper on the desk.

"You two will be doing Icaricia icarioides missionensis." Mrs Clark said. Jim laughed – oh, Pam loved that laugh.

"Were what?" He asked. Mrs Clark laughed too.

"Also known as the Blue Mission Butterfly."

"Okay." Pam said, studying the criteria sheet. It seemed simple enough, about 20 questions to answer and be presented in front of the class in 2 weeks time. Mrs Clark moved onto the next group and Jim took the sheet. He tore it in 2, dividing the question evenly. 10 each, he handed Pam half of the sheet.

"Here. You do this half, I'll do this half. The faster we get this done, the better. Can you finish those questions by next week?" He asked, sounding very business like. Pam took the sheet numbly.

"Yeah, sure." She said. She felt sick.

"Great." The bell went and Jim left straight away. He did that a lot lately.

"Hey, I can't believe you got Halpert. That sucks, huh?" Roy asked, catching up with Pam after class.

"Yeah, it kind of sucks." She agreed.

"Are you okay?" Roy questioned, not seeming particularly concerned, more annoyed that she wasn't paying attention to him.

"Fine." She said slightly sharply.

"Okay. See you in the cafeteria, babe?"

"Sure, see you then!" She said, just wanting to get away. She watched Roy jog away to lunch. She still couldn't believe she was dating the star football player. Sometimes, being popular made up for missing Jim. Shallow, Pam knew, but true. She slammed her books in her locker and went to lunch. She passed her old table, where Jim sat with some of his friends from the basketball team. A guy Pam vaguely knew from class, named Mark and 2 other guys. Pam kept her chin high and she marched straight past the table, to the one in the middle, joining the other popular kids. She sat down and began eating her lettuce and apple. Roy had a bag of Doritos, a bowl of chilli, a double cheeseburger, a large coke and a big slice of cheesecake. Pam shook her head, wondering how he managed to stay so thin. Across the table, Stacey looked at Pam approvingly.

"Pam, your style has improved so, so much. I love that jacket!" She gushed.

"Thanks Stace. It was like, 40 bucks, but so worth it. I mean, the quality is fantastic." Pam replied and Stacey nodded.

"The colour is great." Roy looked at the jacket.

"I like it too. You look pretty in it." He agreed. Pam beamed and vowed to wear the jacket at least once a week from now on.

"Pam, phone for you." Mrs Beesly said, handing Pam the cordless phone that afternoon. "It's Roy, but don't stay on too long, I'm expecting a call."

"Okay!" Pam cried taking the phone excitedly. She waited until her mother had shut the door then put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She said, hoping she didn't sound too excited.

"Hey! It's Roy." She loved his voice.

"I know. What's up?"

"Nothing much, I just wanted to know what colour dress you'll be wearing to prom. I want to get a nice corsage."

"Oh!" Pam was surprised. A corsage! How romantic. She smiled dreamily. "Um, I'm not sure. Probably a blue dress."

"Great, thanks."

"No problem." She replied eagerly, clinging to the phone. She definitely didn't want to end the phone call.

"So, uh, what are you up to?" She asked meekly.

"Not much. I'm about to go to football practice." Roy said.

"Oh." Pam was disappointed, wanting to talk later.

"What about you?" Roy asked. Pam stared at her English homework spread in front of her. On her beside table was a copy of Moby Dick. She couldn't tell Roy what she was really planning to do – finish homework, and then read. How nerdy. That was Old Pam. New Pam would say something more…dangerous. Cool.

"Oh, just having a smoke." Her eyes widened as soon as she said the words. Where had _that_ come from? She had never smoked a cigarette in her life! And she didn't plan to. The smoke alone made her eyes water and her throat close up.

"Really?" Roy sounded shocked and very impressed. "Sweet. You know, I usually have a smoke after school, on the lowest balcony of the school. No one goes there. You should join me tomorrow. 4.00pm, low balcony, remember."

"Great! I'll be there!" She exclaimed happily. She didn't stop to remind herself of the dangers of smoking or the fact that despite what she said she had never tried a cigarette. Well, who cared? There was a first time for everything, right?

The next day, after school Pam began to hurriedly pack up her stuff. She wasn't sure if Roy would have the cigarettes or if she should bring her own. She had found an old packet of cigarettes in her fathers beside table drawer. She knew for a fact that he didn't smoke anymore, but he used to and she had managed to smuggle the packet into her coat pocket. Now she walked briskly to the balcony and found Roy. And about 5 other kids. Pam felt her face fall – she had thought only Roy would be there. But so what? She comforted herself. Roy's here and he did invite you. Chill.

"Hey!" Roy kissed Pam and she felt the smoke on him. "You made it. Need a light?" He asked.

"Sure. Thanks." She said, hoping she sounded casual. Roy lit a cigarette for her and she took it. It felt weird having the cigarette in her hand. Strange, like candles in the daylight. Or breakfast for dinner. Or not having Jim as a friend. Pam studied one of the girls smoking. She had very thin, white blond dreadlocks down to her elbows. Her eyes were outlined with black eyeliner and heavy black mascara. She wore ripped, faded blue jeans and a white tank top and she was taking puffs expertly then blowing out a long stream of smoke. Pam copied her. The first puff made her cough and choke. She tried to do it quietly, which was hard, but luckily, no one seemed to notice. She mopped at her watery eyes with her sleeve and tried again. The first few puffs were a struggle, it burned her throat, chest and eyes but soon she got the hang of it. She absolutely hated and it filled her with dread at each puff but at least she was coughing up a lung. No one was really talking so Pam slowly walked to the edge of the balcony and tried to breathe some fresh air. Ribbons of grey, ashy smoke floated behind her. Pam heard a slight cough below her and looked down in shock. That was when she saw him. Jim. He was below the balcony, sitting on some steps reading a book. Maybe he sensed someone looking at him because he suddenly looked up. Their eyes met. Pam stared down at him shocked and Jim stared straight up into her eyes, clearly stunned to see her smoking. They looked at each other for a good minute before Pam spun around to join Roy again. She thought she heard Jim call out her name but she didn't look back. She threw her cigarette on the ground and stamped it out.

"I have to go." She told Roy, kissing him quickly and began running all the way home, tears streaming down her cheeks. She had never experienced something as bad as smoking. Now, as she ran, she wondered what was tugging at her heart – was it really the cigarette smoke or the sight of Jim?


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Office **

**Dear everybody! I'm so sorry I didn't update sooner, but my computer was in the shop and Microsoft Word decided to join up with the universe and hate me, so it took some time! But it's finally here, chapter 7. More to come! Enjoy!**

Pam didn't stop running. She couldn't stop running. She passed her house but she didn't stop. She didn't even bother to stop the flow of tears and let them pour down her face freely.

"Pam!" She heard a familiar voice calling and footsteps behind her.

"_Pam!_" Someone grabbed her arm and she spun around, blinded by tears. Jim.

"I've been calling you for 6 blocks!" He said, out of breath. "Are you okay?" Pam hated him right then. She hated the concern in his eyes and the warmth of his hand on her arm. How could he be so _nice _when she'd be so mean to him?

"I'm fine." She muttered, yanking her arm away. Why didn't he leave? Why was he so nice! She didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me." They both stood on the footpath staring at each other. Pam racked her brain of something to say, anything. She wanted to apologise, but the words stuck in her throat. She was too tired to think of something to say. Her whole body felt tired. She felt worn and stretched like a grey thread. What did anything matter? Jim cleared his throat and dug in his pocket until he found a clean tissue and handed it to Pam. She stared at it for a long time, like she wasn't sure what to do, until Jim turned and started to walk away.

"I don't smoke." Pam said to his back, finding her voice. "That was the first time…I…I hated it. I just…had to." Jim looked over his shoulder and smiled sadly.

"I know." He said. "I know." He turned again and walked away.

"I'm sorry." She finally whispered to his back.

"Hey Pam, what's up?"

"Hey Stacey." Pam replied, watching Stacey toss her glossy blonde hair. She wished she had blonde hair.

"Soooo, have you got your dress for prom yet?"

"Not yet." Pam bit her lip and applied another coat of mascara with a shaking hand. Ah, the dreaded dress. Pam didn't really like dresses. They made her feel self conscious. Her mother had offered several times to take her shopping but Pam said again and again, maybe next weekend. Her mum just didn't have the same taste as Pam. In dresses at least.

"Awesome! Leslie, Claud, Terri and me are going to the mall this afternoon to shop for the dresses. You game?" Stacey asked, slicking on some pink lip-gloss.

"Definitely!" Her mother had given her plenty of money, she was so excited. She had bought a camera and 3 rolls of film to take pictures. Her sisters had poured over magazines, choosing hairstyles and shoes for Pam. It made Pam embarrassed but happy too. Finally, it was her turn to shine. Pam smiled into the mirror, hoping she looked confident and began to outline her eyes with eyeliner.

"Cool. So, meet on the school steps at 4." Stacey ordered, capping her lip-gloss and waving goodbye to Pam.

"See you then." Pam said. She watched the door of the girls room swing shut and then she was alone. She listened to the steady drip of the taps and the birds outside. It felt eerily silent. Pam stared into the mirror and studied herself. How much she had changed. Instead of a tangle of curls, bright, sad green eyes, a drooping smile, pale skin, and an awkward attitude without a trace of makeup, the new Pam had tumbling auburn curls, freshly washed and brushed reaching down just passed her shoulders, framing her creamy complexion and rosy cheeks. She had energetic green eyes with long dark lashes, thanks to some mascara and eyeliner. She smiled a confident smile with bright lip glosses and lipsticks. She stood tall and positive of herself. She wasn't Pam anymore. She was someone people _looked up_ to. Pam leant forward and considered her reflection. She could still see herself. The old Pam, a shadow behind her new self, with a sad mouth and freckles across the nose. Pam pressed a fingertip to the glass, wanting to tease the frown into a smile. Then she straightened up, feeling silly. That was in the past, she had moved on. She smiled, but the shadow girl didn't smile with her.

Jim pulled out a huge sheet of electric blue poster paper.

"Okay, um, well, Mrs. Clark gave us this for the butterfly project." He explained to Pam, who simply nodded. The class had paired off to work on their projects.

"Um. Okay. Well, I finished my half of the questions." She said, hoping to redeem herself…somehow. Like doing 10 questions on some stupid blue butterfly would make up for ditching her best friend and calling him a freak.

"Good. So did I. Lets just…stick them on the poster, I guess."

"I guess so." Pam glued a big picture of the butterfly onto the middle of the poster and Jim began to glue the squares of information around it. Pam had cut the edges with the special zig zaggy scissors. Jim didn't really seem impressed, although Pam couldn't blame him.

"So, um, the butterfly is pretty cool, huh?" Pam said, laughing nervously. Jim's eyes slid up to her face. He gave her a strange look and continued work without answering.

"Yeah...preeeetty cool." She answered herself. She glanced at her friends. Terri was glaring angrily at her partner, waving her hand expressively. Pretty dangerous, Pam thought, considering she had scissors in her hand. Stacey was rolling her eyes at Jerry and painting her nails. Claudia was combing a purple comb through her silky dark hair sleepily and Leslie was laughing hysterically at something. Pam actually felt sort of glad she wasn't paired with any of them. At least Jim worked. She watched him carefully, the way his hands moved around, cutting the paper. The way his eyes flicked from the poster to cutting out, the way his hair fell on his face. Pam felt tears behind her eyelids. She really, really, really, really wanted to be Jim's friend again. She wanted to see him smile, the way he used to. When had she last seen his handwriting? Suddenly, Pam felt incredibly small and incredibly alone.

After lunch, Pam hurried to the bathrooms to touch up her makeup. She stopped for a few minutes to talk to Roy and by the time she got to the bathroom it was almost empty, aside from one girl, and the first bell was ringing, warning students to get to class. Pam walked to the mirror and began to dab on eye shadow.

"Hey...I know you." The girl said, looking at Pam incredulously. Pam turned around and looked at the girl. She seemed vaguely familiar but she couldn't place it.

"Your...oh, your Roy's girlfriend, right? Pam, yeah?"

"Right." Pam said. She was used to being recognized as Roy's girlfriend.

"You don't remember me? Oh...well, yeah, I guess I've changed." The girl laughed and Pam looked at her properly. She had long, silky white blonde hair that rippled gently in waves past her elbows. She was wearing a navy blue skirt with tiny white sailboats on it with a red waistband, a white tank top and red flats. She wasn't wearing any makeup that Pam could tell of, aside from a touch of lip-gloss and maybe a dab of mascara.

"Umm..." Pam thought hard. "_Oh! _Oh my...gosh. You're um, that girl! Wow, what happened to you!" Pam clapped a hand to her mouth, unable to stop the words from slipping out. But she couldn't help it - it was the girl who had dreadlocks, the day she smoked. She had changed so much. To her relief, the girl was laughing.

"What happened was my boyfriend dumped me." She didn't seem to upset. She was smiling sweetly. Cleared from heavy eye makeup and ripped denim, she was really very pretty and sweet looking. "I'm Dawn."

"I'm Pam."

"I know." Pam averted her eyes awkwardly. What did Dawn want? She barely knew her.

"So, um..." She said, hoping that would be the cue for Dawn to speak. She was right.

"Look, Pam, I have to tell you something."

"Shoot."

"Well, ever since I saw you the day we were smoking, I've been trying to place you. I knew I'd seen you before. And yesterday I finally figured it out. You used to be this really great art student, right? Your were really quiet and sort of awkward. I don't mean that in a bad way, really, it was cute. Well, it made me pretty upset thinking about the way you've changed."

"I-" Pam began to cut her off, but Dawn ploughed on calmly.

"I'm not saying it's your fault. I did the exact same thing! I got a popular boyfriend and it was great! I was no longer boring old Dawn, I was exciting and confident and popular. I started to change myself for Jake - that was my boyfriend - I mean, I skipped school, got an attitude, started to drink and smoke. Pam, I was a mess. Anyway, long story short, after I practically inhabited a new _body_, Jake dumped me. On _voicemail_. And...Then I wondered what I'd done. Ditched my friends for some guy who totally used me? I went against everything I believed in for a worthless guy. I don't want you to make the same mistake Pam. Be happy, enjoy life. Don't change yourself to please others, especially not a guy you're dating. I know Roy Anderson. He's bad news. He's using you. I don't want to sound harsh here, but please, keep in mind-"

"Wait, _what?_ Just because Jake was a jerk, it doesn't mean that Roy is the same." Pam cried. She felt a searing burn of anger. She'd never been so popular! Who was Dawn to ruin it?

"He _is _the same Pam! And even if he wasn't, you're changing yourself to fit into his idea of a perfect girlfriend! Please, don't do this to yourself. I'm so much happier without Jake! I'm myself again, I have my true friends back...please, _please _listen to me. Pam, you'll regret wasting away these years if you keep dating people like Roy Anderson. Just think about it okay?" And before Pam could say another word, Dawn rushed from the bathroom. Pam felt sick. Was it true? Sure, she had changed...but...for the better.

"Argh!" Pam cried. Her mind was in a flurry of emotions. Deep inside, she was wondering if maybe...just maybe...Dawn was right.


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: Nope, still don't own The Office. I'm working on it though. **

**Okay, so I forgot to tell you guys! Thankyou so much for the kind reviews, they really encourage me. So, this chapter is mainly about Roy and Pam because I don't think I've written enough about Roy yet. **

**P.S Sorry about the texting mistake. **** And the reason I had Pam call Jim a freak, was because she's a teenage girl and teenage girls usually have explosive emotions, but yes, I do think it was a bit out of character for Pam. Anyway, I hope you all still enjoy the story. **

That afternoon, Pam went with her friends to shop for prom dresses. They ducked into every store they passed, trying on thousands of dresses and shoes and silly hats, until finally at the 43rd store, Stacey announced they each had to find a dress here.

"Everyone pick one dress and follow me!" She announced. They girls scattered and began to flick through racks of shiny, gauzy, silky, lacy and colourful dresses. Pam chose a midnight blue dress and slipped into the dressing rooms to try it on. To her great relief, it fit perfectly. It was strapless and the bodice fit just right. The bodice was tight and beaded and lacy. The skirt was full with lots of layers underneath to make it full and fluffy. It fell just at the knees. Pam twirled around, admiring her reflection at all angles, loving the way the skirt flared out beautifully. She smiled when she remembered how she had felt, trying on her first bikini. So nervous and self conscious. Well, not now. Now, the dress felt pretty and perfect. She stepped out of the dressing room and was greeted by squeals of excitement.

"Oh, Pam! It's absolutely gorgeous!" Stacey squealed, dressed in a short, lipstick red dress with an empire waist.

"The colour! It goes so perfectly with your hair." Agreed Claudia, who looked stunning in a white halter dress that set off her tan and dark hair.

"Pam, you look amazing! I love the bodice!" Leslie gushed, who was in a velvet purple dress with spaghetti straps and a layered, flared skirt. Terri, in a gauzy, pale blue dress that was straight all the way down, was gently tugging on Pam's skirt, testing the material.

"Really?" Pam asked shyly. Her confidence was fading as she saw how amazing all her friends looked. Her answer was confirmed by more happy squeals and shrieks. Pam grinned and returned the compliments. It felt good to have girl friends, who picked the right dresses and made her feel good about herself and knew all about make up and dances. It was good to be praised, after talking to Dawn. Dawn's words had haunted Pam everywhere. In the halls, the bathrooms, during class. It felt good to just be purely happy and feel confident now and Pam soaked it up, enjoying every second.

Roy and Pam sat on the swings that night, in a darkened park. It was Friday, date night. Roy wanted to go out more, almost every night, and Pam had been forced to explain she couldn't. She had work and school work. She winced every time she remembered how Roy had reacted when she'd told him.

"This stinks!" He'd yelled. "What am I supposed to do? You have to learn to grow up Pam, have some fun! What were you thinking, agreeing to work 4 weekdays? You're supposed to be my girlfriend and I can't even go on dates with you?" She hated remembering how weak her sorry had sounded, but the next day Roy seemed to have forgotten all about it and Pam didn't dare bring it up again. Now, they sat on the swings and talked.

"Swinging competition." Roy grinned impishly.

"You're on." Pam agreed and began pumping her legs, trying to go higher. They swung silently until Pam felt her stomach lurch every time she flew up, the wind in her hair. The chains of the swing began to make clunking, heavy noises and she slowed to a stop.

"Okay, okay, you win." She admitted.

"As usual." Roy smiled proudly. "Okay, so I was thinking we should see a movie next. In a few minutes, they have some great ones showing. What do you think?" Pam didn't really want to see a movie so late at night, but she didn't want Roy to get mad again, so she agreed.

"That sounds good." She said meekly. She watched the grass on the playground dance in the breeze and she smiled.

"C'mon, one last swing." Roy challenged, kicking off and pushing his swing into higher gear. Pam followed his lead, pointing her toes toward the moon and trying to swing high enough to keep up with her boyfriend.

Roy and Pam stood in line, studying the list of movies playing. They were almost at the end of the line when Roy told Pam what movie they should see.

"It's really good." He insisted, about to buy the tickets. Pam studied the movie poster and frowned, pulling Roy aside.

"Roy, that movie is rated R." She whispered urgently.

"So what? They don't ask what your age is! It doesn't matter, come on, were going to miss the start." Pam stood frozen. She couldn't watch an R rated movie! She just couldn't.

"Roy, I can't. I'm not allowed to watch an R rated movie."

"You're kidding." Roy laughed.

"I'm dead serious." Pam muttered feeling her cheeks go hot. Roy gaped at her for a moment, and then tossed his hands in the air.

"That does it!" He cried, storming out back to the car. Pam felt herself blush harder and feeling completely humiliated, she timidly followed Roy. As soon as they reached the car, Roy started to yell, now that they didn't have an audience.

"Why didn't you tell me that stupid little rule before we got there? You made me feel like dirt in front of all those people! You are so full of rules Pam. You're driving me crazy! You have unrealistic curfews and rules and work and homework and I'm sick of it! It's a major effort just to date you and when I do, we can't do anything. We can't even go to a simple movie because of your stupid standards!" Roy kicked a rock hard, and Pam blinked back angry, scared tears. Roy went on.

"You have to decide if you're ready for a mature relationship, Pam! You're acting like a baby." And suddenly, Pam was sick of it all. She was tired and worn. She felt a stretched spring, or a thin, worn grey thread. She couldn't think straight, she couldn't think at all. A volcano of fiery emotions erupted within her and she let the words spew forth freely.

"You want to go out with me? You want to date me, call me your girlfriend? Well, if so, here I am! This is me! I have standards and rules and restrictions and everything else you complain about! This is me and if you want to date me, then you get the whole package, rules included!" Pam was shaking uncontrollably. She had never, ever gotten so mad at someone. She couldn't believe she'd just said that. Roy dug his toe into the footpath and stuck his hands into his pockets. At last, he looked up sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"I'm sorry too." Pam said automatically. Truthfully, she didn't feel very sorry, but she was sorry the incident had happened. Roy took her home then and once again, forgot the whole thing.

The Saturday before prom, Roy arranged a date of flying kites in the park. Pam thought it was the most romantic, sweet thing and was excited. She wore her blue and white striped tank top and denim shorts with blue flats. They air was thick and padded and the clouds grey, but they went out anyway. They lay on the grass for awhile looking at the heavy, dark clouds, with slivers of sunlight breaking through. Finally, they began to try to fly the kites. After a lot of running and many attempts, they finally had the kites airborne. Pam let the string reel itself and watched happily as her red kite with colourful bows on the string flew up higher and higher, soaring against the sky, until it was just a small, bright diamond against the grey sky. They flew the kites for awhile, chatting, when a gust of wind blew and the kites whirled in a panicked frenzy, and crashing into a nearby tree.

"Oh no, look!" Pam cried, running towards them. Roy followed and managed to loosen them from the tree, but it was too late. They were just a small, weak bundle of colours.

"Oops." Roy said light-heartedly. "So much for that idea." He gathered the kites together and wadded them into a crumpled ball. A cold, unexpected tear slid down Pam's cheeks as she watched Roy toss the fragile kites away.


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah, don't own it just yet. But I think I'm wearing them down. Okay, I'm not even close. **

Jim walked into the boy's bathroom to wash his hands. Some idiot had tried to do a cartwheel in the cafeteria with a soda can on his head, and it had of course, spilt all over Jim. What a way to end an already sucky day. Jim washed off his hands and mopped up his shirt as best he could. Dropping the wadded up ball of damp napkins in the bin, he began to dry his hands, his back to the door. He heard the door open and 2 guys began to talk.

"Are you seriously taking that Beesly chick to prom?" Guy number 1 asked.

"What planet have you been on Jackson? Of course I am. We've been planning to for weeks." Jim recognized that voice – Roy Anderson. Of course. Jim stayed where he was, listening carefully. He had no idea why, but he felt he should.

"Um, wasn't she like, really quiet and arty before?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah, but I mean, every other girl either I'd dumped or they already had a date. Pam was a last resort. And now that I know her, I guess she's pretty cool. And she's changed. For the better." Roy snickered. Jim bit down on his tongue hard to keep from yelling at the guys. How dare they talk about Pam like that? A last _resort_? Sure, Pam had changed, but Jim could tell, under it all, she was still sensitive and sweet and kind and…and _Pam_. Jim kept quiet, hoping to hear more. The guys weren't paying any attention to him. Naturally.

"Hell yeah, she's changed! Almost as good as that cheerleader chick…what's her name…oh, Janet Riteman."

"Stress _almost_. That girl is hot." Roy said. Jim closed his eyes and bit down on his tongue so hard he could taste blood. This was disgusting, how could they be so disrespectful of Pam? Jim didn't know how much of this he could take. Roy went on.

"Well, anyways, Pam's pretty close. A good second option."

"Oh come one. Are you saying if Janet wanted to hook up with you, you would turn her down?"

"Dude! I said Pam was a second option. I would hook up with Janet in a second." They both began laughing and Jim heard them leaving, and he was left in silence. He stood frozen for a minute, then walked over to the mirrors and spat out some blood.

"Ugh." He muttered. He washed his face. He felt like killing Roy Anderson. He wanted to punch him until he was black and blue. How could he do that to Pam? Use her like that, all while he was thinking about some other girl? Jim kicked one of the walls hard several times. And then he ran. He had to tell Pam.

"Pam, wait up!" Jim yelled, catching up with her just as she was leaving on the school steps. Pam turned around and blushed.

"What?" She asked. Jim really didn't get Pam sometimes. Sometimes she was close to tears, always watching him and other times she just ignored him or acted like she didn't know him. But whatever she was doing, he could see the sadness and regret in her eyes, and he just wanted to hug her and have everything back to normal.

"I…um, I really have to tell you something. And I don't…know how to. Exactly."

"Um, just tell me I guess." Pam sort of half smiled. "I have to go soon."

"Okay. Um, well…actually…you know what? I…I'll just tell you tomorrow or something."

"No, tell me now." Pam smiled and brushed some hair out of her eyes. "I'll die wondering."

"Okay. Look, Pam, I really don't know how to tell you this. I know were not friends anymore, but I feel I should let you know." Jim took a deep breath. Okay, seriously, how the hell was he supposed to tell her this? "I'm just gonna say this really quickly. I was in the bathroom and I heard Roy talking. He said that, um, well, he said that he asked you out because every other girl he'd already dumped or they had a date and you were a last resort. And then, he said you'd umm, well, changed a lot and that you were almost like Janet something. Janet, um, Riteman I think. And then his friend, Jackson, I think, asked if he'd go out with Janet over you and Roy said yes, in a second. And…um, okay," Jim said it all in a rush and licked his upper list. Oh, man, her expression! She looked crushed.

"And…I am just…so sorry." Pam shook her head and looked at Jim with fiery eyes.

"Shut. Up." She growled between gritted teeth, but her eyes were filling with tears. "He didn't say that…he…he couldn't."

"Pam, he did, okay? And he...well, who even cares? He's a jerk. He-"

"Why does everyone keep trying to ruin this for me? No one ever noticed me before Jim. I was invisible! I was a nobody, and now that I have a life, people try to take it away!" She turned away, dangerously close to tears, but Jim grabbed her hand and held tight.

"Pam, no! You were perfect before. You were _you. _Roy Anderson is a jerk. Don't defend him, he's an idiot! If he doesn't see how great you are, why bother, Pam? Why change your self? He's a fool Pam." Jim said firmly and calmly. Pam let the tears spill over and yanked her hand away. And because she couldn't think straight and all she saw was Jim and blurs, she ran.

**I know this chapter was shorter (sorry) but I only wanted to concentrate on that one event for this chapter. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. More soon, promise. **


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I don't own The Office. Shocked? **

**First off, let me thankyou all so, so much for the encouraging reviews, honestly, they mean a lot to me. Thank you so much, guys. Sometimes I feel kinda low after reading all the amazing stories on here, so it really lifts my spirits when I know you guys enjoy my stories. **** You're all rock stars.**

On the morning of prom, the sky was thick and padded with stormy grey clouds and the air was heavy and cold. Pam took it as a sign. She didn't usually believe in signs, they were superstitious. But for some reason, she felt very worried as she looked through her curtains at the darkening sky. She bit her lip and sat on the wide windowsill. Pam had always wanted a window seat, ever since she was a little girl, and this windowsill, wide enough to sit on was as close as she ever got. She loved it, and every weekend she'd spend a little time arranging vases of flowers and candle and old books on it. Today, though, on this shadowy Saturday, Pam shuffled over to the windowsill clutching her thick blanket around her and settled down, pulling her knees to her chest. She expected big, salty tears to fall but they didn't come. She felt broken and lost and weak but she didn't cry. Instead she sat silently, staring out at the clouds. There was a dull ache in her throat and a rock in her stomach and she pulled the blanket closer.

Claudia rang at 9.00, excited and ordered Pam to meet at her house.

"Today," she announced, "is a girls' day. You, me, Stacey, Leslie and Terri are going to get ready for prom!"

"But I-" Pam began but Claudia interrupted.

"No excuses, Pamela Beesly! Come on over!" She said firmly, giggling and Pam gave in. The clouds were beginning to clear and so was her head. The girls were more excited then Pam had ever seen them – it was contagious. They spent all day together. They went to get manicures and pedicures, Pam chose a pale pink polish and she admired the way they gleamed. They went to the hairdressers, and spent a small fortune freshly washing and drying their hair, straightening, curling, crimping, waving and highlighting. Pam had her hair straightened and had it twisted into a beautiful, shining bun on the top of her head, adding pearls here and there. The hairdresser gushed over it and other hairdressers followed and praised it. Pam blushed madly and laughed awkwardly, still not completely used to be complimented. Stacey laughed whenever Pam blushed, patting her knee and telling her that she needed to get some more self confidence- she had a great smile and she needed to laugh more. And finally, the girls finished their trip by getting their makeup done. For Pam it was a soft, hazelnut haze for eye shadow, light strokes of black mascara and just a touch of eyeliner, a brush of glittering pale pink blush and finally a little pink lipstick. And finally they hurried home in the drizzling ran, newspapers over their heads, sharing umbrellas and laughing.

They went to their separate houses to get in their dresses, agreeing to meet at the prom. Pam went straight to her room, relieved to see that her hair and makeup hadn't been affected by the rain. Her mother and sisters joined her oohing and aahing and helping her pack her handbag. There was a moment of panic when her pair of stockings had a small hole but every single one of her older sisters held up a spare pair, and then sheepishly laughed. But they were all went downstairs before Pam dressed in the stockings, shoes and dress, wanting to be surprised. Alone in her room, thoughts flooded Pam's head. Jim, the chalk giraffe, the blue butterfly, Roy, the green bikini, prom, notes, secrets, Dawn, smoking, the dress, smiles, laughter. It made her feel sick and dizzy and muddled. Pam felt tears behind her eyes, but she didn't let them flow. Tonight was her night. Instead, she carefully stepped into her new, gorgeous dress. She unzipped the bodice so it would fit and then zipped herself up again. She twirled once or twice, admiring the way the skirt fell and spun out, silky and cool against her bare legs. Then she caught herself and pulled on her stockings and slipped on her shoes. Finally, she looked at herself in a full length mirror. Yes…the midnight blue went perfectly with her auburn hair. The pearls in her hair added an elegant, graceful touch. Perfect…almost. Something was missing, but Pam pushed aside the feeling and grabbing her purse (containing a small bag of mints, a handkerchief, some dimes and five dollar note, a tube of lipstick and a small comb) she descended downstairs.

She rested one hand on the rail of the stairs and walked slowly and shyly, as her family and Roy all smiled up at her. She felt like a princess but she didn't really like all the people looking at her this time. It made her feel hot and uncomfortable but she held a smile and took Roy's hand at the end. Her mother was crying (of course, as all mothers do) and her father was staring Roy down with a warning eye. Her sisters fussed and beamed, glad that Pam was coming out of her shell; they smoothed her skirt and tucked away non-existent strands of loose hair. After around 200 pictures and 3 rolls of film, Roy opened the door for Pam. Her stomach flipped and somersaulted and her legs refused to move.

"Go ahead." Penny, her eldest sister whispered. Pam stared pass the open door and into the indigo night. The clouds were coming closer, dark and grey. Roy waited patiently, holding out his hand. She ordered herself to breathe in and breathe out and forced her legs to move. She smiled nervously, taking Roy's hand and stepping out the door. She turned and watched the door close. It was time to go.

**So, another short chapter, but the next one is **_**super important**_**. You can tell by the italics that it's ****really**** important. I emphasis a lot of words, so don't take that too seriously. But it is important. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and stay tuned! Xx**

**P.S Oh, and as you probably know I don't turn down reviews (hint hint). **


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Office, can I say it enough?**

**I really don't know how to write this chapter, so please forgive; it won't be as good as the others. Not that they were very good, but you know. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

The school gym, where Pam had so many memories (getting hit in the head with a dodge ball, getting hit in the head with a basketball, getting hit in the head with a tennis ball, getting hit in the head with a softball…) had been transformed into a nice (maybe slightly tacky) room with silver and pink streamers streaming along the walls along with large bunches of balloons and big bouquets of flowers. Spinning wildly around the large space for dancing were bright colourful lights, next to the DJ table. A little way away from the dance floor were lots of small, circle tables with shiny white tablecloths that reached the floors. In the middle of the tables was a bouquet of roses.

"Wow." Pam said. "Pretty…I think."

"It's a bit much." Stacey added, wrinkling her nose, fingering a gaudy bunch of flowers.

"I…I think it's nice." Claudia said loyally. The guys just groaned exaggeratedly and headed for the food. Pam touched her corsage – gorgeous little white rosebuds. She took a deep breath. Something was going to happen tonight, she could feel it. She scanned the room, but she couldn't see Jim anymore. She didn't even know why she looked; it had simply become a habit. Terri peered over her shoulder.

"Who are you looking for? Roy's by the food table."

"Oh, I…no one. Never mind."

They mingled and laughed for a while, taking photos and requesting songs from the DJ before sitting down to eat. Pam looked, dismayed at the plate of mystery meat and vegetables with a lumpy, white sauce.

"Hmm, yum." Stacey mumbled sarcastically, giggling good naturedly. Roy digged in. He would eat anything. Pam poked at her food, but she only managed the vegetables and a stick of bread. She tried the meat, but it was burnt and she gave up after 2 bites, because her jaw began to ache from chewing. Dessert was a chocolate brownie with a scoop of ice-cream, which was pretty good. Not a moment after Pam swallowed her last bite; Roy grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor. They danced for 2 fast songs, but Pam felt hollow and worried. She was forgetting something…she had to ask Roy something. She had to ask him about what Jim said. She couldn't get those haunting words out of her head. Did she dare ask? On one hand, she was happy being popular and self assured. But was she really self assured? Because, on the other hand, she was always thinking about Jim and feeling empty. It was like she had a ticket, a ticket to be cool, and every day she handed it in, taking a huge breath hoping it hadn't expired. But one day…it would expire. If what Jim had said was true, her ticket would expire the second Roy found a new girl. And if that was the case…well, what was the point? And if it wasn't the case? Pam took in a sharp breath as she answered her own question – again, what was the point?

Pam paced in the girls room. She didn't know what she was doing, her emotions where a whirlwind in her head. Hurt, ashamed, angry, regretful…you name it, she was feeling it. Pam thought carefully – what should she do? Suddenly, a thought struck her. She remembered how she used to calm herself down, convince herself of things. How long had it been since she'd done that? She tried to remember. Thinking back to when she had done that, she seemed so young and vulnerable. But it had worked.

"Okay, Beesly, calm down. Just breathe. 3 deep breaths." She muttered.

"There you go, keep breathing. Okay, study the facts. He's using you, Jim's right. You _know_ he's right. He's always right, he's Jim. If I was somebody else, watching me, what would I tell myself to do?" Pam closed her eyes and stopped pacing. "I would say: break up with him. He's not worth it…" Pam snapped her head up, her eyes flying open. "Don't think, just do it." She said aloud quickly, and marched out the door.

She found Roy at the snack table, chatting with some friends. She tapped him on the shoulder, her heart pounding so loudly and quickly she was sure everyone could hear it. Her legs were shaking, any confidence she had fading. She could feel her shadow seeping back into her, the Old Pam slipping in. Roy turned.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" Pam barely whispered.

"Hang on, 1 minute…" Roy began to turn away.

"Actually, it can't really wait." Okay, where was this coming from?

"_Pam_." Roy said in a low, strangled voice. "I'm busy." He sounded annoyed. He probably didn't like to be interrupted while he was with friends.

"_Roy._" She said bravely. "This can't wait. I need to talk to you now." Roy turned and faced her, clearly shocked.

"What?" He said, irritated.

"Tell me something truthfully. Just…be completely honest. I heard something, and I just need to know if it's true." Roy waited. His friends peered around his shoulders; curiously, trying to see what was going on. Pam felt sick to her stomach. Was this happening?

"Was I…like…your last resort or something?" She blurted out. She was pleased her voice had stayed controlled. "I heard that I was your last resort, that you'd dumped all the other girls or couldn't get a date with them. I also heard that you were pleased that I was changing. For _you._" Roy was blushing now. He glanced at the people around them, embarrassed.

"Pam, c'mon, I…"

"Just. Tell me the truth." She was feeling weary again. She just wanted a straight answer.

"Yes, okay?" Roy snapped quietly. He took her arm and began to lead her away. "Let's just talk somewhere else…"

"_No._" Pam was surprised at how forceful her voice sounded. She yanked her arm away. People began to look over, listening. "I can't _believe_ this." Pam hissed. "You've been using me this whole time! I can't believe I was so stupid, I can't believe I fell for this!" Her voice was rising on every word. Stacey and her other friends rose from their table, watching the scene. Pam put her hands to her throbbing head. "Ugh, I am so blind! You've just been using me, changing me to be your perfect little girlfriend, like what you do to every other girl you date!" A handful of girls gasped. Pam was getting really angry now. Roy gaped at her. She felt like smacking right on his gaping mouth. She felt dizzy. "You are a pig Roy Anderson." She spat the words out as if they were poison. "You have no respect for girls, you mould them until your happy and then you toss them away, like were just puppets with broken strings! Well, screw you. I'm not going to be your little puppet anymore. Everyone was right; you're just a conceited, obnoxious jerk. You only care about yourself!" A collective gasp went through the crowd. Almost everyone was listening now, craning their necks to see Roy Anderson getting a taste of his own medicine.

"Pam!" He exclaimed, face red.

"I don't want to hear it Roy! I won't be a last resort! I won't be used up, like, like hot water! I'm my own person and you can't accept that!" Pam couldn't think straight. She had to get out of here, she had to run now. She though she might faint. "It's over, this…this whole thing is just _over_!" Roy blushed furiously as he looked around at the crowd that had just seen him get dumped. Pam spun on her heel and pushed her way though the crowd. She burst out the doors. She thought she heard clapping and several people yelling:

"Go Pam!" "Way to go!" But she didn't care. She couldn't care about anything but running. She ran and ran and ran, tears streaming down her face, until her legs gave way and she collapsed on the side of a road. The grey clouds in the sky finally gave way, letting lose buckets of heavy rain. Pam began to sob. The road was empty and muddy, the clouds covered the moon and she sat in wet, muddy darkness, scared and sad and lost. She miserably pulled off her shoes letting them fall to the ground beside her. Her hair had fallen loose now, the rain gently curling it into waves. There was fresh tear in her stocking and her corsage was crushed and limp. Raindrops mingled with the tears on her face. She sat there, crumpled and shivering, feeling broken.

"I am so stupid." She choked out through tears and chattering teeth. "I have no friends and no hope and no…no…Jim." She choked out a heaving sob. "What's the point? I've lost any chance I ever had of being his friend. I threw away the most important person in my life and I ignored every chance he gave me." She couldn't see anything threw the rain anymore. A single streetlight flicked on at that moment. A sign? Pam wondered half heartedly. Was there…by any chance…hope? Her bare skin was cold now, from the rain and the wind, exposed under a pool of the glowing streetlight. Sign or not, Pam wanted to get out of here. She grabbed her shoes and stumbled to her feet, beginning to run again. She ran fast, stumbling and tripping, stones and sticks sharp against her stockinged feet. Pam sprinted until she saw a familiar street sign. She made her way quickly from there own, until she skidded to a stop in front of her house. She stared at it for a moment, and then burst into fresh tears. Slippery bits of grass clung to her arms, itchy and slimy against her bare skin. Pam took a few deep breaths and wiped away some tears. She didn't want her mother to make a big scene. She didn't feel like explaining. She ran inside, locking the doors. Only one light was on, Pam was relieved to see. Everyone was asleep. She tiptoed upstairs and made it all the way to her room before collapsing in a tearful heap on her bed. She lay down, burying her head in her pillow. She expected heaving sobs and large tears but instead she cried silently, tears slipping down her face, dripping down her chin. She rolled over, staring out the window at the stormy clouds and bucketing rain. And then…_plink. Plink. Plink. _Was that rain on her window? Pam sat up and looked at her window. No, it was…stones. Stones? Pam leapt up and hurried to the window, brushing grass off her arms and dress. She ran her thumb under each eye and looked out the window. No…it couldn't be. But it was. There, in the middle of the lawn in pouring rain at midnight, holding a big bouquet of colourful flowers stood Jim Halpert.

**Ahh, how adorable is Jim? I mean, just writing about him makes me happy. Okay, anyway, it's pretty much a law that you have to review, because I'm worried about this chapter. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Office. I think I should write a song about not owning The Office, I say it so often. **

**THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU to each and every one of you for the amazing reviews! You are all wonderful. They mean so much to me. **

Pam didn't think. All she knew was that one second she was at her bedroom window, staring down at Jim and the next second she was throwing open the front door and running into his arms. And now she was there, encircled by his warm embrace. The rain fell down around them, silver in the dark street lit only by a few streetlights. Pam felt…amazing. She felt something she had never, ever felt before. In that moment, in Jim's arm, _nothing _else existed. It was just rain and warmth. Her mind was blank from the rest of the night, her past life, all she felt was pure happiness and love. Finally, Jim released her. They looked into each others eyes. Pam didn't want to break the perfect silence; she didn't want to remember anything but this. But she spoke.

"Hi." Her voice was soft in the pounding rain. He raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"Hi." He pressed the flowers into her hand and took her other hand in his. Pam breathed in the heady, sweet scent of the flowers and closed her eyes.

"I…am so…sorry." She whispered. The wonderful feeling was fading fast. Memories flooded her. She couldn't say sorry enough, how could he be so nice, how could she ever forgive herself? She could apologize over and over again, it would never be enough. It just wouldn't.

"It's okay." Jim wrapped his arms around her again but she pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"It's not! It's not okay, it can't be. Jim, you're so kind, you were my best friend and I was so mean! I just ditched you; I went against everything I believed in. I can't believe I was such an idiot! And all this time, you've stood by me, always waiting to catch me when I fell over thoughts I didn't see coming. And I…just pushed you away, again and again," she started choking up. She hated herself, how could he still like her? "You warned me, Dawn warned me, everyone was warning me and I was too proud and self centred to listen. I didn't want to believe it was the truth. It was just…everything in my life was so…perfect, you know?" Jim listened carefully. His brow was furrowed but he remained silent and didn't interrupt. "I mean, I was so invisible before, and then I got all the attention. I've never been in the spotlight, and when I got there…I just…craved more and more. I couldn't get enough; I had to do whatever it took to stay there. I was such an _idiot_. And you just stuck by me! Jim, I am so sorry. I am so, _so _sorry." She was stumbling over her words now; there was so much she wanted to say that she just couldn't get out. Ugh, and just…stuff was going on, and I'd never had girl friends before and it just felt good and I felt normal and I don't know, I just…"

"Shh." Jim held one finger to her lips, looking amused. "It's okay. Really." Pam closed her eyes and let her head drop, till her forehead touched his chest. She was tired. But that grey thread she used to be was getting stronger.

"Really?" She whispered, her voice muffled by his open flannel shirt. It was the one he'd been wearing the day they met. He smelt like cologne and rain, he smelt so familiar.

"Really." They stood there, in the rain, for several minutes, just enjoying the moment before Pam spoke again.

"I really like you." She said softly. Jim smiled.

"That's good. Because I really like you too." And then, he tilted her chin up and gently pressed his lips to hers. It was short and brief. She'd never imagined it like this – so sweet, so tender. Her first kiss.

**Done! I'm probably going to do one more chapter. I know this was really short and I'm sorry, I just wanted to end with the kiss, because I'm a sucker for that sort of stuff. Please review and let me know what you think. One more chapter? Thanks for reading; I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**P.S Oh, and I realize that**_** technically**_** it wasn't Pam's first kiss, but remember, when Roy kissed her she decided she was still waiting for her first kiss? So, yes. Just thought I should clear that up. **


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: You can pretty much be physic right now, because it is so obvious I don't own The Office. **

**Guys, this is so weird. I really love writing this story, but I don't want to end it! But here it is, the last chapter. Probably. Pretty much definitely. **

Roy Anderson pretty much avoided Pam after that. She didn't see him around all that often, aside from sometimes passing him in the halls but they pointedly avoided eye contact. Okay, maybe the first time she and Jim stared him down but then they ignored him. Life went on. One day everyone was talking about how Pam Beesly gave Roy Anderson a taste of his own medicine and the next they were talking about how Melody Browne got a nose job. Jim and Pam start to go out together, but they took it slow. They kept their friendship, enjoying each others company. They went as far as light kisses. And they held hands a lot and spent lazy spring days sprawled in a hammock or in the fresh grass, just talking and laughing, listening to the humming of dragonflies and breathing the heady scent of nectar and flowers. They spent warm nights walking on the beach letting the salty white, thick sea foam lick their bare feet as they pointed out particularly bright stars and constellations, sharing stories. Pam gave Jim the painting of him in the grey hallway and made a matching picture – a girl (that looked suspiciously like her) painted entirely in grey, but standing in the middle of a bright, colourful hallway. Jim had loved both pictures. But what surprised Pam most was that she still had her friends. The day after prom, she arrived at school with Jim to find Stacey, Leslie and Claudia shyly waiting at her locker. They smiled sheepishly at Jim and said hello. He gave them a small smile then ducked away. For a moment, there was silence as all 4 girls exchanged embarrassed smiles. Stacey broke the silence, always a leader.

"Um, Pam?" She took a deep breath. "There's kind of something I – _we,_ wanted to say."

"Okay." Pam waited – this was it. She braced herself for whatever would come. But she was surprised.

"What you did at prom…that was…Pam that was brave. You were so…so fearless and strong. I have to say, that honestly…I wish I were more like you." Pam gaped at the girls. Were they serious? Was this a cruel joke?

"I'm sorry, what?" She managed to choke out. Claudia spoke up.

"Seriously, Pam. I mean, I know that we seem like airheads or something…but honestly, I think everyone here is just the same. We all crave popularity; we just want something to get us through high school, something to keep us going when there's so much crap going on in our lives." Claudia bit her lip and looked down. Pam had never seen these girls so vulnerable.

"But the truth is…" Claudia went on. "The popular kids…the guys…" she struggled to find words. "They aren't_… nice_ people. And I…yeah, well, I mean, I just wish I were more like you."

"You were totally brave. You helped us break free of them too. Oh, I mean, we're still cheerleaders but were not in that, um, _crowd_ anymore." Stacey chimed in. Leslie gave Pam a small smile.

"I'll tell you something Pam. I noticed you before you dated Roy. I used to try and imitate what you did in art – your work is so amazing! The…the way you just make something out of nothing. Your colours and work is so strong and I knew…I just knew that there had to be someone special under that work. I was right." She finished timidly. Pam felt glowing warmth. These were her friends – they were still her friends!

"I'm really glad I got to know you, Pam." Stacey said. "And we understand if you don't want to hang out with us anymore – we really do. But, I well, just wanted to let you know – you're a really great, wonderful, strong person and a great friend…and I'm glad we were friends even if it was just for a little while." Pam stared at the girls before her – once confident and popular and intimidating. And now…just like everyone else. Pam felt happy.

"Guys…you guys…thankyou. I mean…wow. Thanks. I still want to be friends! Sure!"

"Really?"

"Really!" There was a moment where they all just grinned happily and then they collapsed into a giggling, hugging heap.

"Wait, wait." Pam said, once they'd pulled away. "Where's Terri?" The 3 girls exchanged awkward looks.

"Well…" Leslie finally said. "After you left prom…she said…she said…"

"Well, some not very nice things." Stacey substituted helpfully.

"So were not friends with her anymore." Claudia added, sounding matter of fact. Pam was stunned. They had ditched Terri…beautiful, popular Terri, for her? Shy, quiet, Pam? She felt that glow again.

"So, uh, you guys want to grab a bite to eat?" She said, smiling happily.

"Yeah."

"Oh…wait. Guys, I have to tell you something." Pam said. And she didn't feel nervous at all. They waited patiently. "I'm dating Jim Halpert. And you know what, he's my best friend. And he has been for a long time, and he's great and I like him a lot."

"Okay." Stacey said, shrugging. "Um…okay, this is embarrassing. I'm sorry, but which one is Jim?" Pam smiled and pointed him out.

"The one in the white shirt."

"Whoa, he's cute!" Claudia blurted out.

"You…_we_…called him a freak a few weeks ago." Pam said carefully, ashamed.

"…Did we?" Claudia frowned. "Oh…I'm sorry. I guess we called a lot of people we didn't know freaks."

"We should probably apologize to them." Stacey offered quietly.

"That'd be good." Pam agreed gently.

"Okay…so, where should we eat?" Leslie raised her eyebrows, giggling, breaking the slight tension.

"How about Jay's Diner? Its just a few blocks from here." Pam suggested. "That's where Jim and I were going to go."

"Cool. And Jim won't mind us being there?" Stacey asked cautiously.

"Nope. He's a forgiving sort of guy. You'll like him. And he's bringing some friends."

"Okay. So, what does the diner serve?" Stacey asked, adjusting her bag.

"Hm, let me think…" Pam hid a smile. "Pizza…fries…cheeseburgers and…pizza, fries and…cheeseburgers."

"Cheeseburgers?" Stacey wrinkled her nose. "Wow…gosh, I can't remember the last time I had a cheeseburger."

"Me either." Leslie and Claudia piped in simultaneously.

"Really? Guys, you're gonna love it." Pam grinned and linked arms with her friends.

And that was it. Slowly, they merged Pam's friends and Jim's friends until they were one big group of friends. They linked on where one of them stopped and the other one started. They were just unpredictable, unlikely, completely different friends like a patchwork quilt. They were the friends Pam had always wanted. And she got them. Finally.

On the first day of summer, the willow trees waved their feathery leaves in the warm breeze, and jasmine, tulips, roses and lilies tossed sweet scents into the air, carried by the wind. Jim waited for Pam on the grey stone steps outside the front of school and when she skipped down them in a sky blue, summery sun dress he wrapped her in a warm hug and pressed his lips to her.

"Come with me." He smiled and they walked pass the town and the shops until they reached a small, running stream in the middle of fresh, thick green grass with patches of wildflowers here and there. In the middle of it all was a large, sprawling willow tree, its dangling vines of tiny leaves brushing against the ground. One strong, thick branch dipped low, like a seat and Jim and Pam sat on it. Pam watched Jim swallow hard and he took her hand.

"Pam, you are…like, every kind of awesome." He smiled and ducked his head. He pulled something out of his pocket a gold chain. It was a shining, gold ID bracelet. With the words: _Always_ on it in the most elegant, gentle cursive script.

"Oh!" Pam breathed as he gently chained it around her wrist.

"No matter what, Pam," Jim said determinedly. "I want us to stay friends. Always. No matter what happens in our lives and in our relationship, I always want us to stay friends." Pam swallowed and let one delicate tear slip down her cheek.

"Me too." She smiled. Jim smiled. And they sealed their Always promise with a kiss. The leaves of the willow tree danced in the summer air.

**THE END.**

**Okay. That's it! It's over! Wow. Sorry about the major Cheese Alert at the end. But that's such a me thing to write about. This has been so much fun to write, and I really want to thank all of you for sticking with me through the story and leaving such wonderful, encouraging reviews – its means so, so much to me! You truly encouraged me to keep going with this story. So, thankyou! Each and every one of you. Did you like the story? I appreciate you reading it and I hope you liked this story. Thankyou again! Goodbye! YOU'RE ALL WONDERFUL! xx**


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